For many, it’s a fine line between being alone and feeling lonely.
There is no clinical criteria that stipulates the transition from “alone” to “lonely.”
The reason is that the human heart, psyche and mood are so unique from person to person.
One person is surrounded by people, sometimes even good people, yet he or she feels profoundly lonely.
Another person is stuck in a traveling sales job racking up huge numbers of frequent flyer miles and hotel bonus points, yet hasn’t felt lonely for years.
It’s all about who resides in the special places of the heart reserved for “the loved.”
God wired us this way for a reason, of course.
He doesn’t want us to be contented in the absence of emotionally intimate relationships.
Instead, He designed the craving for connection with people to serve as the forerunner for even deeper, more durable, more intimate relationships with Him, His Son and His Holy Spirit.
If we believers don’t crave these horizontal and vertical connections, then we cannot be imitators of the Savior who poured out His love — and ultimately His blood — so that humans would want intimate, loving relationships with Him.
When people establish a connection with Christ, His Father and the Holy Spirit, an everpresent fountain of love and intimacy is given them that can bubble over into as many lives as the person will pour himself or herself. Even in places where the believer knows no other person.
That’s why believers can be alone, yet never feel lonely.
You and I know all sorts of people who are tormented by loneliness because they don’t have the vertical and horizontal connections that could fill the heart as nothing else can.
My call to you today is to pray for wisdom as to which of those people you might start connecting with in a more servant-minded way. You probably won’t become “best buddies” right away, but the lonely person will at least begin to see that you aren’t lonely and that you want to share a bit of your life with him or her.
As the connection grows, the person will begin to feel less lonely, first as they make room in his or her heart for you and as they begin to make room in their hearts for the influence and love sent their way by God.
Why this topic today? Today’s reading in the One-Year Bible reminded me of a powerful promise that reveals the heart of God and a core mission of the Church.
“God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6)
Your congregation, your personal family, your group of guy friends or girl friends…. God can use each of them as the “family” into which He places lonely people.
Look for the lonely, my friend.
For they are looking for someone to give them a special place in their hearts so that they, too, can be alone yet not feel lonely.
Remember, you were probably lonely once yourself.
As always, I love you
Martin
