It’s never good to be known as a quarrelsome person.
Who likes spending time with such a person?
Too much drama. Too little genuine listening. Too much control-freak behavior.
Some of us have had extended periods of time at work or school or home or in dating or even at church when we found ourselves connected in some way with one prone to a critical spirit and argumentative nature.
When the contentiousness started, it was not pleasant.
Hopefully, we didn’t reciprocate with quarrelsome behavior but instead showed patience and grace and resolute focus on following the path of God’s leading.
Why this topic today? Today’s reading in the One-Year Bible included Proverbs 25:24. The verse says, “Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
My goodness. That’s a really blunt perspective from a guy who had hundreds of wives.
Even though Solomon had huge palaces, he still might have been stuck on the corner of the roof if he had to get away from even just a third of his 300 wives!
Though this verse creates a popular trap into which some critical-spirit Christian men fall — sometimes even in a men’s meeting group — the reality is that both genders too frequently form attitudes that send their spouses heading for the roof corners.
I thank God that my wife Lori doesn’t have a critical, quarrelsome spirit. It’s much better living in the house with peaceful satisfaction than it is living on the roof in order to survive emotionally.
Even the kindest among us, however, can slip into a quarrelsome spirit if we’re not careful. We have to resist the me-first agenda at all costs. You see, a person with a quarrelsome spirit is not sincerely concerned about finding win-win solutions.
If he or she were, he or she would discern the montage of emotional and spiritual factors influencing a situation and pray for wisdom to nurture cooperation rather than pursue verbal domination.
The quarrelsome person seeks only win-lose solutions as in “I’m right. You’re wrong. Get over it” or “I’m not getting my way and you’re going to pay.”
Let’s rise above a conflict mentality, let’s commit to principled compromise as needed and then focus on the real Enemy — the author of all whispered temptations to turn us against a loved one or friend.
As always, I love you
Martin
